I have had this experience time and time again through out my life, when having a conversation with another women or group of women who may not be quite as small as me. They will be in a conversation often together and will complain of some sort of body issue and I will chime in with an attempt to relate…This is usually followed by a glare and look of disgusted or they will flat out ignore me, or respond with such remarks as… “Yeah right like you have ever had to worry about weight,” “Oh what is your size 2 just not good enough for you?” “I am sure you probably never eat” or “ I bet you never eat anything you shouldn’t” I have flat out been shunned by groups of girls that are bigger than I am simply because they think I cant relate.
This frustrates the shit out of me! Are we all really so naive that we think we are so different from one another? Like I don’t have parts of my body I struggle with sometimes? Or do you really think it’s that easy for me to not want to indulge in a big fat bowl of rice pudding (My husband makes incredible rice pudding J) Or that I don’t have mornings that I don’t want to workout?
A while back I had been running around all day. I hadn’t expected to be gone from the house so long and had not prepared any food to take with me (I usually have a lunch bag of food, so that I am not left with options of Del Taco and McDonald's) By time I got home it was 11pm, which if you know me at all is very late for me J I was so hungry I didn’t even want to think about what I was going to eat…so I went with the easiest most tasty decision in the fridge…a leftover JCW Burger w/ bacon and avocado and fries. To top off my wonderful choice, I ate in my bed and then fell into what I like to call a CARB COMA. It was not the best choice and probably not the best time or place to be eating a burger and fries, but I am only human and I don’t always practice what I preach J it was yummy and just one of those times where you have to break the rules.
The next day while speaking with some ladies I had mentioned that I had done this thinking they would find it funny. Well the response was more one of astonishment than laughter. I received some looks of, REALLY?...YOU? One women said, “Oh my gosh, you are normal!”
WHAT?...REALLY?! Of course I am ”normal” (ok so normal for me in some aspects might be stretch) I love food…burgers, fries, pizza and beer. I hate my stomach most days and sometimes don’t run when I should. There are days I don’t want to workout, days I want to just go through the damn drive thru and just be able to pick up something to eat that’s convenient and forbidden.
PEOPLE STOP BEING SO NAIVE! Quit thinking that the women next to you has no idea how you feel because she’s not your size. In some way I bet you if you sat down with that women you would find she could relate to you in more ways than you think. Yes it’s true I have never been a size 16 and I can’t relate maybe to the number inside your jeans. I may not be able to relate to your same number on the scale. But you better be for damn sure I can relate to all those feelings that come along with it. I have been overweight for my height; I have abused my body with cigarettes like some do with food. I have emotionally eaten my way through divorce or not ate at all. I have eaten Oreos for breakfast, I am bigger than other girls, I have less muscle, I run slower than some of the girls at my gym, I can’t lift as much as some of them, or come even close to there times.
We are all more alike than we realize. None of us is perfect, we all have a past, we all have our own vices. I don’t care if you are a size 2 or a size 20, if you are black or white, if you’re Catholic, Buddhist. We all have things that we don’t like about ourselves whether it be body image or a decision we have made we aren’t so proud of. The important thing is that we all keep going, we all continue to try and hopefully we can help each other learn from our own individual struggles. It's not our job or place to assume the person next to you has nothing in common with you, nor to judge them by how they look or what you may think you know about their life. Most of us are all here fighting the same battle, to become our best selves. What better way to do so than to have the support and knowledge of those around us.
So play nice! You never know the girl next to you might just have eaten a burger in bed.
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