I'm an Open Book

I have grown up in a family of not the best of communicators. We often avoid conflict, don’t express how we truly feel and if we do we use sarcasm to express it.

I have had to learn along the way that sarcasm is probably no the best way to truly express yourself. Two experiences that I remember realizing this form of communication doesn’t work so well was with two people whom I love. One being my best friend in high school who would say I always was making jokes or being sarcastic in the middle of us being in a serious argument (or what we thought was serious at 15 :)) The second would be my husband. We were first dating sitting at a dinner table some of his friends and I was making sarcastic remarks on his behalf. Seeing there faces after about the 100th comment I realized they clearly weren’t finding me funny. And the discussion that followed on our ride home was of much hurt on my husband’s part.


Lately I have found myself being pretty sensitive to my family and friends jokes and sarcasm that are on me behalf. I am not the norm amongst my friends and family and I have had quite the eventful life which is ok by me I have always lived by the beat of my own drum. I am a pretty open book, I often spill the beans about my whole life to people I barely know…Not sure why I feel so inclined in an introduction to say “Hi, my name is Brenda I have DD’s and I have been married and divorced 95 times  I often make jokes at my own expense. This is just me, it is the parts of me that I think people relate to because I am real and just flat out me, no fluff, and no bull shit just me. I like this part of me and I am pretty sure I will be this way for the rest of my life.

This is what I don’t like about this part of me…Being an open book it opens me up for a lot of openness that I really don’t care for…open for everybody’s judgments, opinions, sarcastic remarks and jokes. Now I realize that me being a open book and often making fun of myself has put me in this position. I am often good at dishing it out as well as taking it. I believe me being this way gives the impression that if I make fun of myself so can you…well I am here to tell you it doesn’t! I can handle a joke or sarcastic remark or two on my behalf, I mean lets face it I have made some pretty “joke able” choices in my life that are all quite laughable. (Who hasn’t?) But at the end of the day it’s MY JOKE ABLE STUFF. My way of coping and moving forward with a positive attitude is by being able to laugh at some of the choices I have made.


90% of sarcasm is true

Sarcasm is like tiny daggers that can add a bit of sting or, more properly, allow us to sting others while granting us plausible deniability.

I think most of us would agree that sarcasm is typically not the healthiest or safest way for us to express ourselves and disagreement; sarcasm gives people license to say incredibly hurtful things that they would never say without the protection offered by a sarcastic tone.

“Really, you’re not joking.” Sarcasm typically gets laughs; but it also provides an easy, acceptable route for passive-aggressive attacks.

Someone wise told me that there’s a little truth behind every joke, and I’m realizing how true that statement is. Humor works because there’s truth behind it, but too often we use humor to protect us from what we are actually communicating.

I think sarcasm is typically more dangerous than helpful.

So my lesson in this is...

Karma is a bitch :) I may be getting a taste of what I have dished out for so many years.

I can’t change those around me I am sure there are many more tiny daggers that I will endure; I can only change my reaction to it.

For me to be more consciously aware when I am the one shooting tiny daggers, and to continue to strive to be better.